im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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