Please don't use social media to get back at me.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
