Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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