It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
