Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
