i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
