Having a random hookup so left but love u
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
