a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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