He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
