if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
