My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
