Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I need a burrito and a hug.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Randomize
