everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm sobbing to NWA
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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