i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
In America we eat man semen.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
