i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
