THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
