Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
