how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
