i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
