And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
