I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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