I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I want to fling myself into the sun
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
