I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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