How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
