i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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