thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
