i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
