I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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