guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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