I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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