you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
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it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
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It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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