Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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