You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
