Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize