some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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