I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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