i permit you to call me
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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