Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
