Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
