Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
