is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
