how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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