just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
