I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
