we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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