Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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