We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
