you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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