dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
