this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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