Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
