i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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