just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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