worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize