OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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