If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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