As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
