youre lurking in front of me
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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