mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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